Thinking Back
by Objective Mistress
Summary: "Do you ever regret it?" "Do I ever regret what?" "All the time you wasted."


**Rating:** T (for language)

**Word count:** ~1000

**Pairing(s):** Makorra-ish

**Summary:** "Do you ever regret it?" "Do I ever regret what?" "All the time you wasted."

.

.

"Do you ever regret it?"

The small voice behind him shatters the silence of the evening night. 

"Do I ever regret what?" Mako absentmindedly rubbed the stone on a long chain around his neck.

"All the time you wasted."

He turned around on the stone bench he rested on, facing the young girl with bright green eyes and dark hair. Patting the empty spot next to him, he encouraged her to sit beside him.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I've read all the books about her…" the young girl swung her feet, her toes just scuffing the ground. "After the Harmonic Convergence it took a really long time for you to get back together. And then it wasn't long until…"

.

"_Come on Korra! Please…please stay with me…"_

"_I-It's okay…really…there's nothing else you can do. You tried…"_

.

For a split second, he vividly remembered his hands covered in blood. _Her_ blood.

"Shouldn't you be inside?" he smiled sadly down at the girl.

"I-I'm sorry…" she played with the bow on her green dress. "My mommy said I shouldn't ask you…it's just," the girl looked up at him. Green eyes met amber. "The books can only say so much…everyone talks about her so much and I feel like I should know what she was actually like."

He placed a hand on her shoulder before looking out towards the horizon. "Korra…well…" It had been ten years ago exactly and he still felt the overwhelming sadness start to well up inside her. "She was strong, beautiful, and I never stopped loving her."

The girl nodded. "You never answered the first question still."

Mako couldn't help but smile at the precocious kid beside him. "Honestly? Do I regret it?"

.

"_I love you so much you can't just leave me like this!"_

_._

"I used to…" Mako shook his head.

.

"_Bolin, how the fuck do you expect me to move on?" _

"_Because what you are doing right now isn't healthy! I'm not going to sit here and watch my brother waste away!"_

"_Oh right, because moving on worked so fucking well the first time!" Mako kicked a nearby chair over, fire burning at his fingertips. "I should have fought harder for her!"_

.

"There were times, even when we got back together, that all I could think about was all the time we could have had," his hand wandered again to rub the weathered betrothal necklace stone he kept close at all times.

.

"_I know it seems like we just got back together…" he fumbled over his words. "But I've loved you for every moment we were apart and I don't want to miss another."_

_He lowered himself to one knee, eliciting a gasp from the Avatar. _

"_Korra, please marry me," Mako presented the handmade betrothal necklace._

"_Yes!" She jumped into his arms and kissed him fiercely._

.

"The history books probably don't tell you we didn't make it to our second anniversary before…" He still couldn't bring himself to fully verbalize it.

"And you made her that?" The little girl looked on in awe.

"Yeah," he smiled, nodding. "It's a Water Tribe custom. The guy makes the girl one when he asks her to marry him. I just…I wanted to carry her with me. You'll be visiting there soon to learn waterbending."

"Because I'm the Avatar!"

.

"_You know," Korra smiled. "Next time I use 'Avatar duties' as an excuse to avoid something, hit me okay?"_

"_What? You mean deciding to no longer pursue such a…distracting," he winked, "and amazing guy like me?"_

_She shoved him playfully, rolling on top of him and pinning him down. "Don't be so cocky. But yes, that's what I mean. Being the Avatar isn't a life-sentence to have no life."_

_._

He laughed. "That you are. But you're much more than that. Never forget that."

The girl nodded.

"Here's the lesson for this evening so listen closely. You only experience joy from the happiness you've had. Happiness you miss out on isn't negative, and it doesn't cancel out the memories you hold."

"Yes Sifu!"

"Now, it's your birthday today. And didn't I say that you should be inside enjoying your party?"

"Will you come in?" she looked at him with those big green eyes.

.

"_Would you…want to have a kid someday?" Korra rested her head on his chest, her voice dripping with sleep._

"_Yeah," he traced random patterns on her back. "I'd love that. You would be great mother. I know it."_

.

He and Korra never had the chance to have a child. Joining the White Lotus and dedicating himself to the line of Avatars was what he considered the best he could do to preserve the memory of his love. As Korra wanted, this Avatar had her family. She traveled the world. She had friends other than her animal companion.

"…Eventually. I need some time." Mako ruffled the girl's hair. "Now my treat, firebending training starts after lunch tomorrow."

"Woohoo!" The young Avatar ran back inside.

In many ways, he was the same idiot that met Korra in that pro-bending locker room. The time they shared, though cut far too short, were the best days of his life. Days would come when he struggled to get out of bed, a ghost of her voice in his ear, though they were far and few between.

The best he could do to honor her memory was to work everyday to make the world a better place. Mako knew he would see her again, but wasn't planning on it for a long while. He had a life to live.

"I hope you're proud," he whispered to the wind. "I meant it when I said that I would always love you. That's still true."

He could have sworn the wind that whistled by his ear whispered, "I love you too."

.

.

**A/N:** And that was an idea that came to me walking across campus in sideways snow! I'd love to hear from you as usual. If on the Fanfiction, I'd love if you paused to write a review. And on Tumblr, reblogs, messages, and likes always appreciated!


End file.
